I don't know how I feel about going to Mexico this year. Actually, I was making it a habit of staying home with the sisters and staying comfortable with books and laughter as we opened christmas presents under our roof or my sister's roof. It's been almost 4 years since I went to Mexico.
What has changed? What will be different? Will the people that I befriended so long ago still be there? Will they even remember me?
I don't look that different, I'll admit because I still have the same face, the same body.
But I feel different enough that I won't fit in. If anything, I will go on the fact that I want to take in all that surrounds me. Catch dialogue, feel the ground under my feet. What does it feel like to have the street rattle beneath me.
I guess I can count this as a blessing in disguise, going back to a home land that I have not set foot in for almost 4 years.
It still doesn't change that fact that I am scared to go, with all the drug wars going on.
I'll have to watch myself if I want to stay safe.
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