Milton is a tricky reading

I do enjoy a challenge. I have already labeled what I wish to read in the summer and I haven't even started my vacation yet. I feel it so close that I want nothing more at the moment. The first order of business is really reading Paradise Lost and Paradise Regained by John Milton.

At the present, I am jumping around because reading all twelve books and having other homework due is making it difficult to truly enjoy it. I really do enjoy the prose as well as the poetry that he conveys throughout the rest of the poem, but I am just as interested as how he pictured the fall of man and extended what is said in Genesis as the Original Sin of man due to a woman.

I have to hate and love the fact that man is placing this blame on us poor females, but also the fact that they blame women as bringing them down with us. But that is besides the point.

I didn't think that there can be angst and passionate carnal lust in an epic poem such as this until I read it with my own eyes. You see the innocent smile that Eve gives him in the fourth book, and see how Adam has initially transformed as he demands her almost. It was enticing, and I have to agree with my Young Adult Literature professor as she states that the innocent scene in book 4 was cute and lovable, but the lust scene in book 9 was loads steamier and the lyrical prose is much more enticing.

Even so, I want to reread this poem, alongside with Homer's Iliad and Odyssey because so much of it is intertwined within the other. That's why I say that Milton's readings can be difficult, because if you don't know your Greek history, you are going to have a hard time understanding what he is referring. Sometimes, even the references within my own book is lacking in description. I feel as though I need a Plato book in one hand, a dictionary in the other, and a bible to look up the verses that he is referencing towards on top of my head.

I can't wait for summer vacation in all honesty. It couldn't come any sooner and the anticipation is just as bad as it is because I am graduating this summer as well.

Ay, poor me, you might think. No I don't deserve pity. I just deserve more time to dedicate to reading. :P

I wasn't planning on blogging two posts in one day, but the turn of events and a sudden rejection letter waiting for me at home had me feeling as though I should talk about it right away, unlike how I put off all feelings like I did with my grad school rejection letter. And I have less than five minutes to pour it out so here I go.

I decided to get spruced up for our invited author that we were going to have dinner with tonight so I went home. I got there and my mother told me that I received a letter from AEON, the company that I applied for my job in Japan.

Because it was light weight I automatically assumed that it was a rejection letter, and I wanted to hold off on opening it because of that feeling alone. I decided against that feeling and tore it open to read that I had been rejected.

My feelings about it are abnormal. I want to cry, because this was something that I was passionate about  but at the same time had to face facts that I screwed up in the interview process because I had clouded moments of delaying, which could not have been good. Either way, the other reason that I am not so forlorn is because I have another opportunity to teach with them. And if not them, then wherever in the world will take me.

That is the only way I am able to contain my tears: Keep looking on to the next adventure. If all else fails, I can just come back and work at school while I attend grad school here and get some teaching under my belt.

There are many other places that I can go, I just have to look for them.

Student Research Week

Student Research Week is coming up at my school, and my professor chose me (and a handful of others) to present some creative fiction or nonfiction pieces we have done. I offered to represent my humor writing course by presenting my final piece that I submitted at the end of the quarter. It was something that I slaved over and produced ten pages that I was fondly attached to. Imagine my surprise when she said that we have to shrink it to 5 pages. That's half of what I wrote!

I am not afraid of such a challenge, because I feel as though I can tighten my piece. I just feel as though I won't be able to include as much as I initially planned. I loved talking about my family and how their constant strain they put me through when they come over and I have mountains of homework that I have put off until the very last day (kind of like now how I have a Milton piece due and two books and so much work to organize etc).

This is something that I am just adding to the mountain pile. If only I had the heart to get a matchbox and light the sucker with fuel and watch it burn like the Joker. Unfortunately, I care. And this is something that I am looking forward to and hope to leave a dazzling impression on the group of people that go to hear me talk about the horrible virus that is sniffles.

Graduate and PhD?

I had to attend my senior seminar and we had a presenter come in from previous years to discuss how the class affected her in her career and her dreams. I couldn't deny that I was fondly moved as she discussed her inward struggle as she transitioned from a nursing program towards an English degree.

It inwardly made me reassess the process of how and what I wanted to do in my life with my career. I was always so hell bent upon going into publishing and editing, because I loved critiquing other people's works and loved reading, but now, I think I would want to go more into the teaching aspect of things. More so, I still wish to teach overseas and try to help spread my love of the English language.

But now, I would also consider going into a master's program here and studying for English Literature as I mold young minds that come here. I am sure that I would still be working as a student and possibly look for another area to work in, but a master's career never really strayed from my mind. And now, I am even considering a PhD in whatever I feel like specializing in. I think, however, that I would fall into a Greek Mythology category. If not, then Humanities like this presenter did. I don't know, there was just such a fascination that I developed in those 50 minutes of class time that made me reassess what it is that I want to do now. But it was as she said, "Never underestimate what you can do."

I don't underestimate my potential to do something great with my life. I do believe that God has a plan for many people in the world to do something great with their lives if they choose to do so. Maybe the reason that I don't have anything going for me other than family is because he wants me to do something that will be achievable and overwhelmingly positive?

Maybe he wants me to go into this graduate program, still working out my life to do something amazing. Maybe I was born to be a teacher and help young minds grow profusely. Maybe I have that unhidden potential to actually do more with my life.

Or I will crash and burn. But I won't know until I try.

I need to keep up with the blogging.

Man, I feel like I don't have much time to do anything when the family comes over. I am always busy having a blast with them. But at the same time, I feel as though my time (as in my personal time) is limited. Therefore, I feel like I can't accomplish anything.

I feel as though I should let everyone know what is going on in my mind right now. At the moment I am one month away from graduating so please excuse me while I bite off the remainder of my nails to the brim that I have hang nails on each one. One month and I will be clutching onto my Bachelor of Arts in English Writing. And more so, I have back up plans left and right to see where my life is going to be headed. Because, I have to face it: I don't want to live my life in just one setting. Even more so because I have nothing to settle me.

I recently went on an interview with an Eikawa school in Japan called AEON (pronounced EON, which was weird to say, and I felt like a klutz when they gave the proper pronunciation of that school). I put on my pretty granny stockings, ripped off the ticket prices on my newly bought navy suit, whined as my sister pulled my hair back like a stewardess in an airline, and was off. On the way over I took the wrong turn and went into the south bound instead of the north bound freeway (or I think the other way around. Point of the matter is I went the wrong way) but luckily I was there an hour early and arrived in time. I hopped into the elevator after asking the front desk for directions and waited upright because if I didn't stand upright, the skirt would have sliced me in half.

As we, (another interviewee and I) stepped into the waiting area, I looked around at my competition. I noticed two people (asian descent and no this isn't me being racist, their eyes were slanted) in black suits, and two more in a grey suit and a nice dress shirt. If there was one thing I learned from the forums is DO NOT WEAR BLACK. They are not fans of black suits and even state in their dress code pamphlets they had laid out for us is to not wear black. Good thing I went into those forums and went with the navy skirt dress suit.

After the initial background information and the break time, we were given the floor. We had to prepare a 30 minute lesson plan and present a five minute portion of it to the recruiters. The first one that went up was so nervous that he couldn't control himself from shaking. The lack of smiles doesn't help. One thing that I also remember from the forums was the fact that they like to have the students talk more than the instructor, and also to be very energetic and smiling the whole time. When the nervous shaker's time was over, I decided to step up and present my lesson plan. I initially forgot to give them my lesson plan but was promptly reminded to do so. When I did, I began with a smile plastered on my face. The game was simple enough, I grabbed the tape they provided and played a "Who am I?" game, in which the students had to ask around the other students what animal was on their backs. It looked fun enough and I made sure that I was smiling and saying as little as possible. Once my time was up, the other presenters came and went, still with not as much energy as I assume AEON enjoys.

After the initial five minute presentations were done, we had a few more information announcements for what we should expect if we leave to Japan, and finally we were given a short quiz, in which we had to spell some words and describe the difference between certain words. I vaguely remember some of mine: describe the difference between lay and lie, I'll be there in 10 minutes vs. I'll be there within 10 minutes, describe the difference between pick up and pick out, and the most dreadful one: describe the difference between effect and affect. I pulled a blank but still managed to give out the most of my knowledge on the two. After our twenty minutes were up, we were asked to wait while they went to get the results and give it back to us.

We were each handed an envelope and asked to not open it in the building but rather when we were alone. I was hopefully wishing one of us would be begging to open them at the same time while we were in the elevator, but unfortunately, nobody was feeling impulsive. And with good reason. I was nervous more than anything. I didn't waste anytime, as I was alone in the elevator for the parking garage and opened the flap to read that I had a following appointment at 1:15 for a personal interview. I was beyond ecstatic.

I returned on the following day an hour before I was scheduled to arrive, and walked into the waiting room and listened as I waited quietly for the interview to begin. I've been to interviews before, such as like the one that I went to for my tutor supervisor position but for this one, it was a bit more demanding. They put me in a room and gave me the floor to ask for any questions that I had, and all I could think of was whether or not I could take my iPhone (selfish and possessive I am about that thing, I know) and if it would work there. I also asked if he (the interviewer) had any special place that he liked in Japan, and he said that he never went anywhere past Tokyo, such as Hokkaido, which is the coldest place in Japan.

After a few more questions, he then asked me if I was ready to teach something from their lesson plan and I told them I was ready. The lesson plan was simple: adjectives and superlatives and comparatives. Big words that basically mean, "This is the biggest of all the things (biggest being the adj) and this thing is bigger than that thing (showing a comparison between the two objects)." They left me in a room for ten minutes to prepare and had another person join him, who was to be my "student" that I was teaching the lesson plan to. I was comfortable teaching and listening to make sure that they were answering it correctly but took too long before I was able to go into the next lesson (I must admit I did that on purpose, I didn't know what I was planning to do for the second part of the lesson). They gave me my feedback and then gave me an example of how they would present the lesson to me, where I was the student learning English. Afterward I put on the teacher hat again as I repeated the lesson that I was just put under to give the "student." I stumbled twice and got through it simply at the same time.

After the mock lesson was over I was given a few questions and was asked the regular, how did you hear about us? Why do you want to work for us? Why do you think it is good to teach/learn English? Those types of questions. By the time we were done, they said that they would notify me in two weeks to see if I got the job.

It will be one week on Tuesday. I don't know how I am going to wait any longer after that. My finger is itching to dial that number to see how I did.