Friends

I think I have pissed off a friend.

He invited me to go with him to Los Angeles to attend the museum of tolerance which I wanted to go to, I just didn't have a ride.

I guess he misinterpreted that as "I would love to go with you come pick me up!"

I meant to say was, "If I could I would go with you but I probably won't be able to."

There are other things that I have to do tomorrow and I found out today that I wouldn't be able to go. I didn't even ask for permission to go.

What friends need to understand that I am a recluse. Especially during the summer. I don't like seeing the light of day. I would rather be stuck inside an air conditioned room opening a book and smelling crisp pages as I turn to continue the voyage of completing the story.

To my friend I am sorry that I confused you into thinking I was gonna go. I didn't mean to.

Bad day

This is the second day of the month that I broke down and cried. The first time that I did was when my brother didn't let me borrow $20 dollars at the swap meet to buy some useless games that I would've gotten over in a few days. Today was because my mom said my sister was planning to come over.

It's not that I hate my sister, it's because i haven't had any (and by any I mean NO) time to myself. Time to musket includes: NO children, NO bed to myself, NO channels and tv to myself, NO peace to myself.

Yes I am acting selfish but for good reason. I LOVE being a selfish person at times.

Please nobody that is family or friends come over. Please... I just might snap your necks off.

Palm Springs

Here is a view of beauty just as sunset is winking goodbye.

I had to stop to take the picture, trying to take a different picture in the process. But mom was right. It was better to look and tackle the sunset rather than settle for a silver medal.

I just started scrolling through Tumblr again...

I clicked a tag on the right hand side of the website. This one was labeled as degrassi.

I do find the tagged items to be a bit of awesome because I can type in a search for a tag and boom I can find it 99% of the time. It truly is awesome.

But like I said, there is no originality.

Just two or three words. No paragraphs, no insight to something. Its like updating a Facebook status mixed with Twitter, but nobody that truly cares.

Because let's face it: nobody is gonna be looking at your history of Tumblr, looking at what you posted. You are just letting people know how you feel in that moment.

At least in here I can feel as though I am letting emotions go out. Almost like a grownup. :P

Whew!

That Tumblr sure is addicting. Too addicting in fact, that it made me completely forget all about this blog and its contents.

Its like that new girl/boy at school that you know is gonna be cool, but after spending so much time with him/her, and after ditching your other friends, do you realize, "I liked it better when it was simple."

I like simplistic lifestyles, with an edge to creativity but still in the lines of organization. I feel that Blogger does that for me. I can just write and write and write on this site because that is all I am entitled to do. I accomplish in this blogger by practicing writing instead of going through tags, looking at gifs, spoilers to shows. Its like a twitter gone crazy where all the cool kids (or wannabes at least) are coming to play because that is where everyone else is at.

There is no humanization of people's minds. Very rarely.

All I see through the dashboard is ship wars, gossip, pictures (both nude and beautiful and sometimes a little bit of both), and some bits and pieces of advice.

But the creativity is stolen from me in Tumblr. I don't have the will to write like I would in this blog because that is all that I can do in this blog. But I like it that way.

The challenge of thinking as I type (even though I am better off just writing away in my journal due my obsessive need to be secretive), the simple distraction of just slamming my fingers against the keyboard; I can't find nothing like that on Tumblr.

Its probably just the underage kids who want to fight online that's making me want to blow it all off. Maybe it's too much glam for me. Maybe its that I have finally decided that I should grow up and continue writing, away from distractions that are found on that site.

I am not banning Tumblr from my life, I just have to make it less obsessive. I check that thing every morning I wake up, up to eight times during the day and before I go to sleep. Like I said, ADDICTING. It's another Facebook and Twitter for me.

There's the want for followers and to have people like your posts, when here it didn't bother me if people read this or not. This was my tale with or without comments. My emotions that would run amok with no views or with a million of people looking at it. I was happy with what I was publishing on this blog; there was no obsession with wanting to be liked, because I already liked myself.

Blogger, thanks for allowing me to come back after such a long absence. I haven't felt like writing in a while, and finding out that even after deleting you from my bookmarks, you still had me signed in on the dashboard, patiently waiting to say, "I told you so," reverberates like a melodious call that even the sirens from Homer's the Odyssey would become hypnotized to.

That you did. That you did.