Senate Material?

I have a meeting today for the Senate Council at my school. Did you not hear? I was elected to be a part of the religious committee for the Senate this year. My senior year. Yay.

Notice the lack of enthusiasm that should have followed after the 'yay.' There was none.

I don't think of me as being a big time involver with any school activities. On the contrary, I am more along the sidelines, hearing what the big whoop is all about.

Now I have to come up with a project that I still don't know what to do. I want to say that I want to jumpstart a program that revolves around writing and reading, but I doubt anyone would want to do that so late in the year. Maybe that could have been something to do in the beginning of the year to have it finalized and fixed by now.

I think the other reason that I am not as involved as others is because I don't dorm. I would rather stay at home and just work on what I need to here.

I didn't think college would just swing by like it did. But it has. And I don't regret it.

I do sometimes. But not as often as others. I really just want to claim my independence and see just how hard (or easy) my life is going to be.

Oh well, back to planning.

I am still too committed

Today was the release of Naruto chapter 573 on Mangastream (go check it out for all your manga streaming needs). It has been give or take five or some odd years since I began this journey with Masashi Kishimoto about a boy in an orange jumpsuit determined to be the best Hokage the village of Konohagakure has ever seen. Ironic no that his father was the best and now he wants to usurp that position of higher power?

Five (or some odd) years later, I am still as giddy as an avid beginning fan girl flailing her arms and having her eyes bulge out at the announcement of a new chapter. My friend in class saw me have my little fan girl moment. I had to explain my little squeak that escaped my larynx.

Needless to say I was not as embarrassed as I should have been.

And for good reason. I have followed this anime/manga since its infancy; when Masashi took the risk of pairing a hyperactive ninja, a brooding emo, and a pink haired lovesick girl into what has been infamously known as Team 7. I love them still and even though I do not watch the anime fillers (because they are and forever will be a waste of time you will never get back), I am completely devoted to the manga.

And, I assume that the manga is coming to a close (573 chapters, really? Even Bleach doesn't have that much although it is getting there), I will not be sad. Everything eventually has to come to an end. I will be in a way relieved because I finally will know if Sasuke will go back to the village or if he will die. If Naruto will die or become Hokage and live happily ever after with Hinata. If Sakura will be the next Tsunade (minus the rack; that award goes to Hinata or Ino) and be able to rehabilitate Sasuke. And of course I want know about the rest of the characters and their fates as well. As intriguing as the story arc is getting, I don't mind reaching the end, because of how long I have been waiting.

In truth, one more kick ass fight, tears of appreciation towards Kishimoto's genius of inventing such a world, and I'll take up the rest of my time maybe watching the fillers.

Maybe.

Headaches

I thought that my headache would go away if I ate a banana. It didn't.

I thought it would go away if I drank some water. It didn't.

I thought it would go away if I stepped outside. It didn't.

I thought it would go away if I wrote about it. It's not.

I believe that it was the coffee that I decided to drink today. Instead of the green tea that was being offered. Now, in retrospect, I regret not taking a green tea to pour into the hot water I could have gotten from my work place.

I just knew that it started to hurt (my head did) while I was drinking the last bit of coffee that was staining the white mug I brought to school today. Upon the first sip I thought it was too strong and needed a little sugar. But, being that I am a lazy at heart I just gulped it down in that bitter fashion. Bitter gulp after gulp.

Now, my head is spiraling out of control. There are these little instances it hits me like a boxer hits a punching bag, and I am that said punching bag. Other times, I am mellowed and calmly relaxed.

I feel my muscles tensing from time to time, and it feels like my fingers are developing a mind of their own because they are typing too fast for me to even begin establishing comprehensible thoughts. But, they also are beginning to write with errors so I still need to go back and correct their error in spelling.

I went outside and stayed on the steps and let the sun soak in my sweater. It's too cold in my work place, so that was a nice change. The dark navy sweater warmed my back up a ton, but it still didn't dissuade the headache from leaving me completely.

As I stayed in that spot letting the Vitamin D work its way into my skin, I noticed a bumble bee. Not a wasp, because they look orange and yellow. This was a bumble bee because it was fuzzy (I was that close to it), it was black and it was yellow.

My first instinct was to kill it if it came too close. And by close I mean a foot between my sandal and it. But it didn't, luckily, or else I would be wanted for murder in the first degree. I was just awaiting the subpoena papers that were going to present itself in a buggy fashion. Or would it be an insectly fashion?

The bee was rotating within itself; it didn't move from the step it seemed to have been stuck on. I just casually thought, 'just fly away bee. Why don't you fly away?'

I didn't give it much thought that it could have been hurt, its wings were damaged, or it was drunk and didn't know the way home. Maybe he had an abusive queen bee in the hive and he was not looking forward to returning. Maybe he was drunk off his honey nectar that he collected that day as he was pollinating the rest of the flowers.

Or maybe, and this thought I believed most to be true, was that it had a searing headache from drinking too much bitter coffee.

I knew exactly how it felt.

Never can say good bye

I have clothes in my closet and drawers that have been there since I was a freshmen in high school. I am soon to be a graduate in college with a Bachelor's in English writing. To say that I have a hard time getting rid of some clothes is an understatement.

I don't know what it is about my old clothes that gives me a hard time to throw into a black garbage bag and slump it away into the garage forgotten. They are clothes that I have ripped (like the edges of my jeans are always ripped because they are too long), no longer fit me (because obviously I have gained a tiny bit of weight), or I have no more use for them.

And now, I have a hoodie that I got my senior year of high school that has the majority of all these aforementioned problems.

I received my black 2008 hoodie in 2008 (if you can believe that) and wore that hoodie to no end. I was always kept warm and tightly snug in it, and it never gave me any problems.

Until I ripped it in my sister's gate.

That menacing death trap grabbed a hold of me and my hoodie, and like a martyr it buffered me and was wounded in the process.

That was the first hit it received.

Next, I started noticing that it was slowly peeling away at the pocket, like the stitching has had enough and decided to retreat and rebel. Soon, things were falling out of that pocket to the point where I couldn't trust my hoodie to hold my things anymore. I was saddened but still wanted to keep it around. The elastic was still strong.

But now, every time I place it over my head, the hole seems smaller. And when it is time to yank it off, it's like my head grew three sizes that night, like the grinch's heart expanded. It actually hurts to pull off my hoodie over my head now.

So, now that it is causing me pain because it no longer fits, because it's ripping, and because it is no longer useful, I have decided that it was time to throw it away.

"Can I throw it away for you?" my mother asked me when I got home from school yesterday. I told her that I was going to throw away my precious hoodie and she showed no remorse like I was exemplifying all week. On the contrary, she hates that I wear that infernal black glob that just makes me look fatter.

"No, I am going to throw it away," I said. And even as I said it. I just knew that it will take me a while.

I still haven't thrown it away. Granted, I haven't really been home to actually be sprucing up my room and such. But I know the reason.

It's just so hard to say good bye to something that you had for a total of four years. For a total of any years.

I never can say goodbye. And actually mean it. Because I know that I don't want it to be the last thing. The last moment. The last of anything. I want things to last a while.

Maybe that's why I still haven't thrown away much of anything. I just leave them in the garage and with time forget about them. I don't do the dumping. My mom does.

And she loves getting rid of old things that don't matter anymore.

Maybe I should just move on and buy me a new hoodie. One that she will undoubtedly hate.

I'm thinking a crazy scream out loud color. Like Pink. With my school's logo on it.

Let's see how long this one will last.

Are you asking for a challenge?

I was talking to my friend about what I am thinking about giving up for lent. I know I am not a true Catholic at heart, but I know that I like to participate in certain types of events. I told her I was thinking about giving up more than just my routine of fast food, candy, soda, and chips.

"I'm thinking about giving up media devices," I told her. We went to Johnny's Burgers which is a few minutes from our school to devour some much needed burgers that I have been deprived of for a few weeks already. I slipped the last morsel of food into my mouth and didn't even bother savoring it as I pushed the white plate of chili cheese fries in front of me.

"Media?" she said.

"Yeah, like all the media type of things. Internet, Tumblr, Facebook, television, maybe movies. I am thinking of going full on Amish," I told her.

I kept thinking about it and the more that I began thinking about it the more that it actually got me thinking. Can I actually get away with going 40 plus days without any type of media?

I think there can be a way to secularize myself from anything that is considered media. I just don't know how it would go. I know that I would want to dedicate my time to reading more and writing out a ton more things. I think maybe carrying around my camera and whatnot.

I actually never gave it much thought to the whole phone business. Would I be carrying it around with me or would I have to leave it because it is also considered to be technology?

I just think that I focus too much on internet and media, as I can see as I am typing it up in humor writing class instead of actually paying attention.

This whole dependency is what is making me want to decide it more and more to think that this might actually be a good idea. I just need to find the ground rules and identifying the thin line.

Is it weird for me to think that this might actually be a fun idea? Can I actually pull this off?

I think so...

I am sitting down here at the Starbucks a few minutes down from my school. Normally, I would be home, spending time on the internet in my pajamas and loud noises that comes from my mother and my brother.

That, as you can see is not the case.

But coming to Starbucks had its perps. My friend spotted me a grande caramel frappuccino. I think that's how you spell frappuccino. I know there has to be 2 c's to make the che sound.

I am basically wasting time while my friend is busy applying to Loma Linda, our sister school. I keep constantly asking her what if she doesn't get accepted to the nursing program. What then?

"I haven't really thought about it," she said.

Now, it's not to assume that I don't believe in her getting accepted. I have the belief that if you really have tried your hardest to apply and determination to get in, the chances are more in your favor than those that don't.

It's just I am a person that has that strain of making sure I always have a back up plan with everything.

If I am not accepted to grad school, I'm off to do internships in LA with my sister for experience.

Nobody is hiring? Take a few years working to reapply to grad school.

Still denied? Try to get back into the editing business until I have enough experience to get to New York publishing companies.

Nobody wants me? Teaching credentials and hello high school kids, my name is Ms. Kathy and I will be your English teacher for the school year.

Everything in its own way will have to fill out for our true happiness. Just make sure you have the back up plan to make that possible.

I had the strangest and most determined interaction yesterday that I thought I would like to share.

Yesterday, as the day was finally drawing to a close in my work force (at least for me anyways), a student came by and dropped off an application for any position available here in my work (which names and places I will mention...stalkers are everywhere).

When he handed it in to me, I simply did what I always do: punched it with the letter heard that says I received their application and slipped it into my director's inbox for the next time she is going through applications.

"So now what?" he asked.

"We will let you know in about a week or two if we have any openings for you," I responded calmly.

"Is there someone I can talk to right now?"

"Our director is normally the one that handles the applications, and she will let you know in 1 to 2 weeks whether or not we are interested in hiring you."

"So, she isn't in?" he deduced.

"She is," I said, "But I believe she is busy at the moment."

"Okay then, can I schedule a moment to speak with her?" he asked.

I was surprised at his determination and decided to open my director's schedule, even though I felt this was in a sense a waste of time. After filing out the information I decided to see if my director could see the student just for a quick second. She agreed and walked out of her office to see a tall almost 6'6" white male towering over her 5'3" (I am just assuming she is taller than me. For all I know she could be as small as me) figure.

She let him down easily, but that also didn't discourage him. He was willingly determined to get a job, which was something, as I mentioned before, I had to admire.

"The only job we have is working as a reader and scribe, which is on call basis only."

"Okay, I'll take it."

I grabbed his file and added him to the growing list of students looking to work here and filled him in the time preferences.

If anyone wants a job, you have to be determined. Made me give an insight into how I should be approaching my status as an office assistant, and in the future.

Determined, no matter what.