Sometimes I can understand the split decision of a child wanting to seperate from their parents, and other times I can see why some will go crawling back.
I love my family, my mother with her easy laid-back ways while trying to be strict. My father who is strict but bends to a simple please with a face like a wounded puppy. They both wish to hold me down, try to make me see the reality of the world is living on a paycheck, but even that's not a reality of a world that I wish to embark on. The one I can always bear to live with is my little brother, with his more-than-weird personality that he holds. He can always find a way to make me laugh, and knows which button to push to make me radiate with hatred for him.
I guess the real reason that I'm typing this blog is not to give you an inside scoop that is my family, but rather to be clear of one thing: that I am not a child anymore. I'm 19 years of age, still live with my parents, and still have a time that I have to be home by. It's not that I have a problem with it, it's understandable, but every night I have to be home by 10 or 11 at the latest!? Cut me a break, throw me a bone, or my personal favorite: what the f----?!
And what makes it worst is that it's not like I'm doing anything wrong! I watch movies with friends, not party and get drunk! I don't even have friends that are old enough for that!
Like the 4th of July party that I was invited to. I had to make my friend leave early ruining her fun as well as mine. And all because my parents wanted me home at 10! Do they really have to be so old fashioned?! Do they really think that the party is over at 10!? It is just beginning! For us anyways.
It's really times like these that I really wish that I didn't live with my parents. It's times especially like these that I wish I would have dormed or some other thing to show that I am a responsible and independent student/woman. I am not planning to ruin my life as my mother would say if she saw this, I just want to begin it. I want to take the sharp breaths of the really cold night air, not the beginnings of it. I want to laugh loudly into the night, not be timid. And most importantly I want to enjoy my last remaining year of a teen with my other fellow friends before I realize that the time has passed by thanks to the oppressive demands that escape my parents mouths.
But until then... what can I do? I feel like a captive held out in the sea, determining and calculating when it will be a good time to jump on a life raft and head out to see where the sea would carry me.
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